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Hedge Words
We’ve seen them. We’ve used them. Those words that pull us back from the edge, that keep us from laying out our emotions, actions or descriptions in full, unapologetic fashion.
What are these words that restrain us and confine our emotions?
I call them hedge words. As writers, we produce a scene and infuse it with passion and high tension and then, bam! we back off. As if we’re ashamed of the emotion we’ve let loose.
Examples of hedge words?
seem(s)(ed) a bit almost mostly
a little nearly perhaps kind of
somewhat sort of any possibly
maybe suppose probably might
apparently some a touch a tad
partially partly sometimes hardly
There are others. There always are.
But why use them?
Why not say Ginger smelled like a cesspool after an outbreak of flu rather than Ginger smelled a bit like a cesspool. . . ?
He was kind of like that old, wrinkled man in the classic horror movies.
OR
His face bore the same wrinkled skin as that old man in the classic horror movies.
Angus seemed more than a little agitated.
OR
Angus was pissed off. Or even better, Angus kicked the door in.
Hedge words are not wrong words. Any of these can be used and used effectively. For example, in one story, Angus’s seeming agitation could be a good use of sarcasm. But if you find yourself holding back, not committing to the emotion or intensity of the scene, consider rewriting. Remove non-committal words. Say what you mean to say and let your characters speak and act freely, without a censor. You’re not likely to get punched for the words your characters speak, even though they might. Ratchet up the tension and drama and see where it leads.
This is your opportunity to let emotions seethe and passion rule. That insult you always wanted to yell at another driver? Let it out. Those ardent love words? Put them in someone’s mouth. Don’t hold back.
See if writing in absolutes doesn’t add both life and depth to your work.
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Tags: writing advice Posted in: Craft & Style, Writing Tips
3 Responses to “Hedge Words”
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[...] Hedge Words [...]
The reader will focus on what stands out. Turn the reader's attention where you want it to go.
Thank you for reading The Editor's Blog, an Internet resource for fiction writers, 
This is one I have to watch for, especially when describing the size of a thing (not, not THAT thing!) It’s too easy for me to say “a bit bigger than a bread box” or “almost the size of a quarter”.
Kat, I think it’s easy for all of us to do that–we say those kinds of things often. But they weaken a scene when we throw them into our fiction.
Not always, of course. But more often than not.